DUNKIN: in the business of FAST

This morning. I got my coffee. So fast. And so efficiently. Despite being 4 people deep from the counter, Mr. Man made eye contact with me, asked me what I wanted, and got it to me in under 2 minutes. Paying probably took only 1 more minute. The product is not even part of the equation here. The operations are. And I am always impressed. I'll ignore the shoddy non-doughnut baked goods and lackluster attitude of the people behind the counter. They get me fed. Quick. Just like this post.

Balthazar’s Impeccability

A Keith McNally institution with bubbling ambiance & classic bistro fare…there is no better place to meet up with confidantes, impress guests, or feel a smidge like a celebrity (and potentially spot some). To put it simply, Balthazar’s customer love is like being hosted at somebody’s house for an elegant dinner party. You don’t enter a restaurant, you enter a bubbly world of imbibing champagne conversations and excitement. Despite the relatively high-end clientele, there is no discrimination at the front door (prices, equally, aren’t low, but very accessible). The maitre d' hasn’t a trace of a chip on his shoulder or feel overly empowered the way lots of douchebag maitre d’s do. He just wants to seat you—efficiently, politely, with grace.

I cannot think of a single time I’ve gone and haven’t felt special, and more alive when leaving. This is without a doubt, the effect of the customer service. God, they’re just so pleasant. And not pleasant like clerk-at-the-Marriott-front-desk-pleasant…. Pleasant, again, like your friend hosting you for dinner. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how they’re trained. I have never, ever, felt badly, for example, about being “served” at Balthazar’s. They genuinely seem to feel good about what they are doing. Perhaps they are lifetime waiters, I’m not sure, and truly enjoy the industry, or perhaps they’re just selected with very specific criteria, but I feel friendly with them—the waiters, bartenders, everyone—and not in a disingenuous way, ie, it doesn’t go too far. Just enough nice conversation, but never intrusive. You can have an entire dinner without even noticing them, or gladly engage them, and the moment you think about a new water glass, a clean fork, or have dropped your napkin, its already there waiting for you. It is just anticipation? Or is it magic? :)

[An aside: I’m cutting the cross-category lines with this post. Comparing customer love at a restaurant to customer love coming from a corporate hotline isn’t exactly fair. But I’ve seen the “hostess” mentality of restaurants and hotels applied to other industries very successfully (read: retail…Anthropolgie, a future post for sure), but perhaps still not a fair comparison because corporate hotlines are simply not in the flesh, and there is an intangibility that comes with looking someone in the eye. So, admittedly, if not a fair comparison, perhaps just a plea for more corporate hotlines to take a clue from the restaurant industry—treat me like a Balthazar’s restaurant customer, you, hotlines, you!]

The last time I went, with an intimate group, both my bartender and waitress were women, which is less common. “Oh gosh,” I thought, “Here we go, my perception of Balthie’s is going to change, and they’re going to be bitchy” as it’s hard not to find a waitress without a grudge…but these women, were, to put it mildly, fantastic. They totally humored my over-excitement with the menu, where many waitresses would sneer. They treated me NOT like another woman (women are so good at that) but simply. A non-issue.

I’d really love to work there for a day, and watch the behind the scenes “operations waltz” of this place...perhaps I’m a little biased, as it was three years ago today when I sat in one of the booths by the bar and had drinks for the first time with my now boyfriend. I credit him with my introduction to this little haven that I am now a major advocate of.

Bank of America, and childhood, a timely post

Today I woke up to this news. Bank of America, my trusted, childhood (will get to this in a minute) friendly local bank, reporting huge losses and miscalculations in earnings. Boo. Admittedly, I'm hardly surprised, as I've had a sneaking suspicion that their customer service has been correlated with their business performance for about a year now, i.e., I've noticed a decline in both.

It all goes back to 1997. I was 12. My dad set up a checking account for me with, what was then, Fleet Bank (merged with Bank of America in 2004). Getting a checking account at 12 is a highly emotional experience. It meant being grown up, learning the value of money, and most importantly, being able to part with all of my hard-earned babysitting cash, and trust that despite not being in my eyesight, that it was in a safe place, "earning interest." This is a pretty cemented relationship for a consumer. A brand your father "bestows" upon you, that you grow up with, that holds your life savings.

For years, I loved Bank of America. There was an ATM on Brown's campus. "Ha!" I thought, in comparison to those unlucky first years who had to pay ATM fees. I also got free checks. I was also treated, when I called, like a long-time customer (I WAS a long time customer, but being so young, and in relation to other freshman on campus, this seemed like a secret honor). And finally, Bank of America was always very supportive of refunding accidental overdraft fees. Did I come to depend on this a little too much? Perhaps. But my gosh, was I appreciative of it. Overdraft fees are a lot of money when you're 19.

So, I'm not going to say ALL of this deteriorated a few months ago, but certainly most of my respect and admiration did. Here is what happened:

Can you see them? Thats FOUR overdraft fees in a row totaling $140.00. Now, I know, I used my card for four little charges when my account was overdrawn. Certainly, that is my fault. But I monitor my account daily, practically hourly, and I swear, something screwy happened with the timing of "cleared" charges, and "pending" charges, and money coming in from my saving account. I was incensed. $140.00 in fees and I'm going to probably overdraw my account again as a result of them! I felt so personally hurt, betrayed, helpless. Called the "customer love" line. Twice. To no avail. I wrote the included letter, to no

avail. Unfortunately this is not a success story.

Despite pleading, my personal feelings, and all my loyalty to Bank of America, my overdraft fees have not been refunded. I'm so let down. But what are they to do? I suppose they have to charge customers $140 to get themselves out of the hole. I think it's a short term solution that is going to hurt them in the long run, as customer service, and their resulting brand image, decline.

My first experience with good customer love

I was on the rowing team at Brown. Lots of us wore Asics. I wouldn't say I was a loyalist, but I did like Asics an awful lot. After about a year of use, on the ergometer (rowing machine), running to and from practice (sometimes) and worn on every muddy riverbank or dock of the Northeast, I found that peculiarly, the back heel cushion of my pair had rubbed away. I sent the following letter:

About one month later, I got a delightful "package slip" in my mailbox. Upon arriving at the mail window to claim my goods, I found, inside an envelope marked "Asics" a brand new pair of sneakers.

Wow.

A small act for them, a big impression on me. I am definitely a loyalist. In fact, in writing this post, I realized that just this week I recommended Asics to someone.

Mission Statement

To say that I'm an educated consumer is a severe understatement. I work in advertising, am relatively well paid, well educated, live in New York, have no children, engage in social media, and love to buy things. I am a super consumer. Not in the top tier of spenders by any means, but certainly in the top tier of most engaged. Thus, I've come to place the utmost premium on the somewhat intangible attribute of customer service, hereafter known as 'customer love.'

I adore good customer love. It makes me respect a company or brand or product so much that I talk about it, in great detail, after witnessing it. Like a chocolate chip cookie...it makes me feel warm, cozy, loved and appreciated. Meanwhile, I've always been infuriated by bad customer love, often sending handwritten letters to companies I feel have wronged me. And this is exactly the issue--there is something about customer love that is intensely personal. Certainly more personal than a company's product quality, style, ethos, or social responsibility agenda. All of those things contribute to my opinion...but customer love is completely irrational, compulsive, and cuts deep. I'd argue it's the most emotion-based touchpoint a company has at its disposal. Perhaps this is why I enjoyed my time as a waitress so much. Waitressing is one of the best platforms on which to display customer love. Relatively unappreciated, but hugely impactful.

So, welcome to my playful, unscientific documentation of my life as a consumer. I hope it is useful, and that companies listen.

My end goal is to become "chief customer lover" at a company I admire (perhaps my own) someday. This is something at which I would be really good.